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i’m a 14 year old female, and i struggle with a porn addiction. any chance i get when my screentime is off, i watch it. for awhile i had no screentime, and was on it almost everyday. i even got up at like five in the morning so i had like an hour and a half to watch it before school. it’s not just watching, i read sexual things and constantly think about sexual situations during the day. i have never acted on anything before though, or committed any sexual acts (other than masturbation obviously). i really want to though, and i know because of my age that’s terrible. i just need to rid myself of this. it affects my everyday life and i’m sick and fucking tired of it. i can’t tell anyone because it’s just weird. it all started when i was seven years old. my kindle had unrestricted internet access so that explains a lot. do you have any tips that could help me stop this addiction??
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Replygirl that was not helpful if you’re gonna give me useful tips relating to my issue go ahead but cut the other bullshit because it doesn’t help
ReplyIt's pretty normal to be a horny teen. Even at your age. It's inevitable at that. The best thing you can do is talk to your mom about it if that's not option talk to a trusted adult. Please don't put yourself in a dangerous situation though. Avoiding porn is hard but I'll recommend you fill that interest with something else. Find a safe adrenaline filled activity. It'll help fix your dopamine addiction
ReplyFirstly, it's important to address your age, that being the age of puberty. You're at a vital age where your body is rapidly changing and you're constantly learning new things about yourself. Sexual awareness and curiosity in sex is commonplace among teenagers - and while many people remain ignorant on the topic - it isn't unusual. It's important to recognise the difference between feeling guilty about new sexual feelings and becoming distracted by them, and a porn addiction. Here is a list of what I would class as a porn addiction, please read on after the list if it resonates deeply:
- Ignoring daily responsibilities to watch pornography
- Feeling ashamed after watching porn but continuing to watch porn
- Starting to view more extreme pornography
- Using pornography as a coping mechanism for feelings of anxiousness, sadness or low moods.
- Social isolation due to pornography (Not meeting friends or family, becoming distant)
- Experiencing mood swings or agitation when trying to quit pornography
Here is another important thing to note beforehand: This is not something to be ashamed of speaking to trusted adults/guardians or professionals about. There could be many factors contributing to your addiction, such as: a family history of addiction, imbalanced hormones, accidental Pavlovian conditioning or an underlying medical reason. If something like this remains unchecked throughout childhood, the consequences can and will remain in adulthood. I hope that encourages you to speak up about your problem, though I understand it can be a sensitive subject as some parents/guardians are much more conservative than others.
Now, one thing I believe compels people to break addictions is learning about the severity of the addiction and admitting the problem itself. I suggest researching the real-time stories of porn addicts or watching the reality of porn and sexual addictions. I recommend 'Addicted to Porn: Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly'. I appreciate the fact that you're only fourteen, and so I advise you that it is highly sensitive - however, it's better than watching porn and if it can help you in any way, it's worth it. If you can't access the documentary, I suggest a simple research into the consequences of porn addictions and/or the effects of porn addictions on young minds. The reason I suggest this is because it's a form of exposure therapy. By seeing these people, or statistics - their ways of life - it's like holding a mirror up to yourself, except you're fortunate enough to say 'I don't have to be that person.' The greatest part about being young is that you don't quite yet have to learn from your mistakes in fact, you're able to learn from the mistakes of others instead.
Addiction is also a routine-based cycle and therefore is closely linked with your daily habits. Think about when you most watch pornography and what you're doing at the time - this could either be an enabler or trigger for you. An enabler is something that allows you to give in to your addiction, for example, an hour of free time after school in which you have unlimited internet access. A trigger is a specific event/object/situation that may invoke or encourage your addiction in some way, for example, your favourite sexually explicit movies/series.
Many people believe the most effective way to overcome addiction is by quitting completely and instantly, otherwise known as cold turkey. By completely ridding yourself of the opportunity to watch porn - you prevent yourself from doing so. If you're thinking about going cold turkey, take all necessary steps to make sure you can't access pornography. You can hand in your phone to your parents and say it's because it distracts you from school, stressing the fact that they aren't allowed to let you have it until a certain time in the morning. Or you can block certain websites from your browser and do so from your parents' phones - even set child restrictions on it. And of course, delete the apps that further encourage your addiction to porn, such as anything you may read porn on or find sexually explicit content available, including social media.
Other people believe that the best way to curb addiction is by replacing the addiction with a newer, preferably healthier habit and/or routine. Many ex-addicts find exercise helps with addiction, but since you're fourteen and not yet fully developed, I believe that taking up a new sport or exercising lightly every day, though not for an extended period, can help ease and erase your urge to watch pornography. Other interesting activities and things to try if exercise isn't possible or appealing to you include: learning to; play an instrument, paint/draw, speak a new language, focus on academics, make new friends, cook/bake, etc. The idea here is that not only will focusing on other potential activities distract you from your dilemma, it can actually overcome it. Oftentimes, people turn to addiction due to low-enrichment or poor coping mechanisms. If you try something new and productive and learn to depend on it, it may deplete your need to watch pornography. Addictions thrive on continuous cycles, and therefore in changing your usual routine, hobbies, likes and dislikes, you can learn to change the addiction itself.
It's important to decide to do whatever makes sense to you. Something you must learn from a young age is how to change and when to do it - if you can do that, you'll be a step ahead of the rest. It's important as there are tens of millions of people worldwide who, due to not knowing how to change, live their lives going through the same motions and reaping the same seeds, not knowing that something is hurting them.
I assure you now that you will never want to allow addiction to rule over your life. Nobody ever does, not even addicts. Addiction is something that anybody can fall into, most times, it's just a way to live or at least, the only way some people know how. Most times, it happens unknowingly until the things you thought you knew about yourself somehow distorted. Sometimes, it's effortless and you don't even think about it. Other times, it's a lapse in judgement or instinctive quick impulse. But every single time, without a shadow of a doubt, it isn't worth it.
Addictions aren't worth anything at all and your quality of life is worth everything - I'm sure you knew that, but it's good to just say that to yourself every morning or so, you tell yourself: 'My life is worth everything.' And you do your very best to treat yourself like it is. That starts with discipline and self-respect - and that means curbing everything bad for you and loving everything that loves you too. You do that as a quick two-step process throughout your life that will make everything a little easier, despite being hard in itself: 1. You recognise when you aren't okay, and 2. You commit to getting better.
I wish you the best of luck!
ReplyHey I know it's a big problem, but I think it may sorta take care of itself over time. Porn becomes boring after a while, especially after you get thru that age. It may help to find other interests that take up your time, I think that's the best solution. But either way, I think the addiction will fade naturally.
ReplyHey so let me say you one thing first of all it is okay it is very common at your age and it's fine first accept it accept your routine how you lead your life then the thing i would suggest is what does a person get from being able to watch porn? The answer is Dopomine it is a kind of nerve, like it's a molecule in your brain for temporary happiness(you can search more about it)
And in the generation people are on this urge for Dopomine you watch some videos on this topic
So what you can do this:
Have a Dopomine detox to simplify it.It is simply cutting down all the activities related to Dopomine for 7 days
No porn
No social media
No YouTube or Netflix
No music
No Netflix
I know it seems pretty hard but trust me it is fucking going to help you
Just follow it for 7 days you'll be up girl
And before you begin take help from YouTube and watch some veduoes on how to do it then you watch the veduoes and begin it as soon as possible
You go girl
All the best dear😁😁
Reply